Thursday, February 10, 2011

The end of "Conversation"

With a lot of social media sites that have been developed, question we need to ask each other is – Have we as individuals lost the charm of having face to face conversation with friends and family? I guess the answer would be “Yes”!!! I have lost touch with some of my friends who stay in the same city and the same area but the only time we meet is on the net… With Orkut, Facebook, Twitter and other Social media sites, nobody has time for actual conversations anymore.

Conversation is interactive, more-or-less spontaneous, communication between two or more conversants which does not exist anymore in our world.

Anyone and everyone are connected on the social media sites and it is much easier to make time on the net these days than in person. Where has the charm disappeared of meeting for lunches and coffees gone? Where has the charm of writing letters (not emails) gone? Where has the charm for sending those messages with full words and full meanings gone? Half the time I do not even understand the half written messages and I need to ask that question with people who send the messages as to what they mean!!! Strange it sounds; but it is the fact that cannot be just forgotten.

I went through the communication training (and we had a wonderfully nice and sweet trainer) only to realize that writing emails or messages without addressing a person is an offence. How many of us know the importance of such minute things… None of us I believe. No matter in whichever level or position you are, how long does it takes to write a “Dear ….” not much. Yet we will just write a one liner with what is expected and then leave it at that. Be it on emails or messages; the point is everyone has a name and every individual has to be shown that respect while expecting a response back.

Go to think of it… I guess many people do not even meet each other because of the fact that no one these days value each other’s time. I have been stranded in the middle of nowhere by friends during odd hours just because of some emergency that happens at their end and just because they cannot even inform about the emergency in this time and generation when cell phones are available with even a school going kid. Times have changed and things around us have also changed. The word “Change” is the only thing that is constant and if we do not learn to adapt to changes then the probability of us surviving in this world is going to be more of a challenge.

Once we adapt to all the changes that is happening then life would be much simpler and easier to handle (at least I believe so). People should get back to those old ways of communicating while being away from each other (phone calls and hand written letters). For that matter, even we should get back to maintaining a personal diary. Not a bad idea only provided that the hand-writing can be just a pass through. For people who have not used pen and a paper for ages (thanks to computers and laptops); writing is another task which is better avoidable.

It generally takes more time to write than to type for people these days. I would like to narrate a few incidents which have made me raise questions to myself.

A friend of mine (from the same city) called me one day after ages and asked me how I was. I obviously was well hence answered the call in the first place. I said I am doing very well and asked how things were for which my friend replied that everything was fine except for too much of work. Now tell me one person who is working (only for namesake) and who will tell that there is no work left to do while being at work. Guess no one!!! Even I am busy at work but then I do make time for other priorities as well (trust me, I used to never do it till lately I learnt that we work to live our life and it is not the other way around and it also should not be the other way around). Anyways this friend of mine has to still reach that stage in life to get that figured out… Or is it my thinking that actually needs to change? Question to ponder.

Another interesting fact / story, has kept me wondering for a while… There is a very famous saying “Out of sight, Out of mind”… Does this really apply for all of us? Guess so… Now the story on the famous quote which might have everyone else thinking too. I was working in Bangalore from end of 2006 to beginning of 2008 during which time I met a lot of people and made some good friends too post which on account of job, I moved in to a different city. Initially all of us were in touch through calls and emails however after a certain period of time things just started changing. Like I said before, the word “Change” has had a bigger impact in my life than anyone else’s I guess… Just a statement made and no offence meant to anyone here. I came back to Bangalore in 2009 however to a different center. Hence again it was just the same and there was no progress done to approach or meet my friends whom I had known to be good friends during one phase of my life. Recently I moved back to my old center and all I have been doing is trying to spend time with my old friends. Obviously a lot of gap and a lot of changes in their fronts and mine made it a little difficult to strike the same chord again. It was “I” who tried to even get in touch with the past again hence I guess I have no one else to blame but myself by assuming that everything would just be the same as it was 5 years back.

Another fable which kept me thinking on my toes… Why do always the rich men fall in love with pretty pauper ladies and why is it vice versa? By the way I read a lot of romantic novels just because of the lack of romance in my life… Yeah, I know lack of romance is a gap that cannot be cured by reading romantic novels but then for some people (people like me) falling in love is a task much too difficult to handle and reading a book and experiencing those emotions is much simpler and easier. Anyways while we are on this topic; lately I have started noticing that romance is something which no longer exists at all. Nowadays even romance happens over a phone call because both the partners are busy trying to make a career for themselves. Okay, there are some cases where I have also seen people go to extremes of making each other happy…but then these partners are either not married as yet or probably they have just started seeing each other or much worse case scenario… the partner is not the only one who gets all attention (I meant to refer to the married bachelors and spinsters). No wonder the divorce rate is just increasing all around. Are we getting too influenced by movies / TVs / Foreigners? 99% of the conventional people will respond back stating that it all because of either one of the 3 reasons… however what about being influenced by your own individual brain? What if the problem is in your own thinking? Then why or what account should anyone else be answerable or assaulted for not doing anything. Trust me, no one likes to accept their own flaws and that is when the whole of the outside world gets blamed for everything that goes wrong.

It is very easy to be proud of all the good things you have done to make your family and friends happy around you however it takes a lot more courage to come front and admit your mistakes to a large audience.

More stories and more realities to be shared…but for which you will have to wait for me write again J

“Confidence contributes more to conversation than wit”

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